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Yesterday was my dayapos;s bday and my family including X went out to lunch at jackapos;s place century square. Initially wanted to go hotel for some buffet but those dat i preferred were fully booked. Cos my dad only told me his decision on sat morning. "-_- so i settled for jumbo seafood at riverside point. Unfortunately my dad changed his mind again on sunday morning and decided he wants to haf a simple lunch at jackapos;s place.

my guy reached bit earlier than us and went off to get a present for my dad first cos he said itz weird to be empty-handed. He got my dad a polo tee.

The start of the lunch was bit awkward. ;p my dad chatted bit with him but there were awkward silences in b/w haha after our food arrived, things got bit better cos we cld focus on the food. Hahaha shortly after we finished our main course, my guy got the restaurant pple to bring over a cake. The restaurant also played the birthday song and you can imagine the whole restaurant was watching. My dad only realised when the cake was handed to him. He wasnapos;t even paying attention to the music. And i must say he looked pleasantly surprised. He thanked xavier for the cake.

in the middle of dinner, my guy was asking when he shld formerly ask my dad for my hand. I was nervous too told him to ask after the cake came. And so after we settled down to having the cake, my dear popped the question. (we were holding hands under the table, must gif him courage)

he told my dad dat he would like to get my parentapos;s approval and blessings for our marriage. My dad talked abt many stuff.. Like how iapos;m grown up and he cannot interfere in my decision..but if things go wrong he wld interfere. ;p and his expectations of xavier.. In providing a good stable life for me etc. And he asked some questions abt xavierapos;s family cos he said he doesnapos;t know much. So all in all, i can safely say we got my dadapos;s stamp of approval was so relieved and happy after the lunch

my dad wanted to go supermarket to get few things after lunch so we accompanied him. Saw my family to the car first before we went back to tamp mall. We caught "mama mia". I cried lots in the movie cos the plot is quite similar to my present life situation. But i enjoyed the movie cos it was quite funny and entertaining. :)

well... Now at least i can start planning for my wedding with peace of mind. Haven decided on anything yet.. Even the date of wedding. ;p iapos;m happy but nervous, worried at the same time. Haf lots to consider and plan. I predict iapos;ll go through many moodswings in the next year. Hopefully all good

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barb guerra

For the hell of it I ordered a free Obama pin a few months ago. Up to this day I never received it. The other day I got an email from the (annoying) moveon.com listserve saying that the USPS had "forgotten" a bunch of packages in the back of the mailing room, so that was why many Obama-ites had not gotten their little piece of metal yet. Ah well, Iapos;m not too bothered since I just did it on a whim. I thought that if I got the pin it might be worth alot in the future. Like a random historical antique of some sorts. Ahha. Iapos;m weird. Anyway, I guess I will just have to wait for the pin to come in the mail. If my dad gets the mail.....that will be an interesting day. I better duck for cover

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Started talking to my dad about how unfeasible the idea of me going to New York to see Spamalot really is. Iapos;d never thought about it in terms of actual numbers before tonight. It would cost $555.34 for a plane ticket, a Spam ticket, and a hotel room. Food would probably another $100. Transportation wouldnapos;t be so bad because the hotel is literally a couple of blocks from the theatre, though there would be the problem of getting from the hotel to the airport and vice versa. So, what, another $100? Unless, of course, one wanted to see more than just Spam, in which case one would have to rent a car.

So, anyway, for one person the approximate cost would be $755. Now, since my parents wouldnapos;t let me go to NY on my own, Iapos;d have to add another $407 for a Spam ticket and a plane ticket. Plus, more food and maybe more tacked on with the hotel room. So upwards of $1200, probably, for two people to go see a Broadway play.

One could drive, of course, but itapos;s about 1000 miles from where I live to New York and about 15-20 hours. So one would have to take a minimum of five days, two days to drive up there, one to see the show, and two more to drive home. And thatapos;s without really doing anything else in the city.

And, the thing is, the theatre and so on and so forth would only get about $120 out of that $1200. I agree with my father on this: why doesnapos;t Broadway take a couple of performances to tape the shows and sell the DVDs? If itapos;s a rights problem, then that seems like small potatoes. I mean, movie companies buy the rights of plays all the time, donapos;t they? Moulin Rouge? Chicago? Rent? And if you did it this way, you still charge $20 for the DVD, but you donapos;t have to pay Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor or teach them to sing/dance or build new sets or hire a crew or any of that because itapos;s already paid for with the show.

*sigh* A year ago, before I flipped for Clay Aiken, I had to write a "bucket list" for an English class. I put "see a Broadway show" on that list. I didnapos;t have a particular one in mind; I just wanted to see one. Now I do have one in mind and itapos;s, essentially, impossible. Now Iapos;m depressed.

And coming down with something, I think. Feel sick.

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CDTA�offers a "Corporate Swiper" program to businesses and organizations that want to offer employees discounted montly Swiper passes to get to work.� Depending on the type of transit benefit program established with the business, participating employees can save up to 15 on transit costs above the already discounted monthly Swiper pass. Employers use the program as an effective recruitment and retention tool. They can also receive business tax breaks and feel good about supporting a program that reduces traffic congestion and is environmentally friendly.� Employees can choose 5-day or 7-day Swiper cards and get unlimited rides, all the time.� They appreciate the cost effective and less stressful way to commute.

Some businesses already engaged in this program are: Comfortex, Daughters of Sarah (elderly home), and�Trans World.
www.cdta.org and scroll to the bottom of the welcome section to view the new TV�commercial.
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�

I will close my eyes and dream of daffodils that never wilted, although if we were to look closer... The leaves have swayed to the ground welcoming the cold winter that is about to envelop�us in this stranded road.�Dreams are not words�like words are not dreams. They had a basis; strong enough for little miss arrogant. Yet perspectives differ with the raging lies and painful battles. 6 months of happiness. 6000 years of solitude. Now now, no more crying Ems. A queen doesnapos;t weep even when the one thing she would dethrone herself for crumbles at her feet.

...................................... My little dinosaurs and monsters whose bum bum(s) I cherish.�

��




The future that only seemed bleak. Yet I still love them each everyday of my life.
�

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calyptridium umbellatum

So, Nicklas and I are sitting here watching TNA, and talking about having Dragon Dragon tattooed to someones balls. Nick wants to get Dragon Dragon tattooed to his leg though.

DRAGON DRAGON

�

Anywho, Dragon Dragon, is a beeaassstt.
I love him very much, all the homo in the world.

So, weapos;re still watching TNA, and itapos;s a really lackluster show overall.
Kurt Angle kinda squashed the whole roster while he was PMSing.
Pretty gay.

I should be doing my Chapnick work, but WHEN�DO�I�EVER?

�

Thereapos;s really nothing to say at the moment. I just felt like posting up a picture of Dragon Dragon.
�

Oh, and listen to Trophy Scars.
Yes.
�

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eleventh frame

So, isnapos;t tomato soup supposed to be the easiest thing in the world to make??? Iapos;m not sure how, but I seem to fuck it up every time I make it. I guess it tastes fine, but the soup boiled up all over the bot and onto the stove. This reaction to me cooking is not going to encourage me to stay home and cook more often....

Thatapos;s not really what I planned to write about tonight. I just got a little sidetracked by the mess I had to clean up.

Two and a half years ago, I moved to Boston. When I moved here, my ultimate goal was not to go to law school and get a juris doctorate, although that was one of my goals. My ultimate goal was to achieve independence. All through my senior year of college, I made it clear to everyone and anyone that came anywhere near me that I was leaving and was not interested in a relationship. If a man wanted to be with me, he just had to understand that it wasnapos;t going to last. During my first summer here, I maintained that attitude, not because I was planning on leaving, but because I was asserting my new found independence.

By the end of the summer, I wrote somewhere (Iapos;m not sure if it was here in LJ or in my written journal) that I was ready to share this amazing life in Boston with someone, a man. I thought I was ready to open myself up to someone in a way I never had before. So, I sent a message to the universe that I was ready for a boyfriend, and lo and behold, that is what I got.

I dated Dan for almost a year. He was exactly what I had asked for. I thought I was ready to settle down because I had finally achieved the independence I had waited 21 years to feel. Turns out, I wanted more. My relationship with Dan became dull very quickly. He wasnapos;t interested in experiencing new things with me. He was set in his ways, and happy to be there.

So, I returned to my old attitude: boyfriends are bad; independence is good; I love being with men, but I donapos;t want to share my life with a man because he will hold me down. So, I sort-of-kind-of-but-not-really dated Ben and then Sebastian.

Well, at least that was the plan, but with Sebastian, it was different. I started to open myself up to him. I found a level of comfort I had never felt before. But, I was still willing to be in a sort-of-kind-of-but-not-really relationship with him. I thought that if that was all I could get, then that was all I could get, and I should just accept it.

I have finally decided that is not what I want anymore. I am willing to wait now for a man who wants me for all that I am. I deserve to be wanted for my independence, intelligence, beauty, and devoted companionship all at the same time. I think it is possible for me to be in a relationship and not feel held back or held down. I donapos;t want to constantly question whether a man wants me in his life anymore. I deserve to know that he does. I am ready to be in a relationship that I can tell other people about without him being ashamed. Dan couldnapos;t tell his parents because he was Jewish. Ben couldnapos;t tell his parents because I dated his older brother. Sebastian never told his parents because we were never really dating in his mind. I deserve to not be the dirty little secret.

This is not written out of anger. This comes from a realization that I have allowed these relationships to happen because I have believed I didnapos;t deserve better. I do deserve better, and I am willing to wait for it now. I will not settle for "well we can date, but we canapos;t be boyfriend and girlfriend" anymore. I deserve to be legitimate.

The challenge for me now is being okay with being alone for a while. There hasnapos;t been anyone in the last three and a half years who has wanted to be the real deal for me, and I am not expecting him to just show up tomorrow. I need to respect myself now, and not settle for less than I am worth.

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I think I�hit rock bottom. I�temporarily forget my LiveJournal password, (Really, whoapos;s dumb enough to do that?) Iapos;m having a major writing/GMV�block, anddd thereapos;s the sad fact of me STILL�having to put away the dishes. Now is that just dumb or what?
I swear at my house Iapos;m the maid.
And I have to do this all with a broken arm.
Just great.
How can my day get any worse?�Oh yeah, I�still havenapos;t bought that journal for English AND�my house is burning up. Someone needs to help me. Iapos;m just dumb.

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